Zoe, you are now one!

You have finally turned your first year.
You have 8 teeth!
You wear size 9 - 12 clothes, and Mummy is very addicted to buying stuff from Next!
You wear a 4+ nappy! And are still enjoying sucking the wipes even though I've changed them to fragranced to see if that would stop you. But it didn't!
Your feet are size 3.5, width H - apologies baby you get that wide foot from me! This probably explains why you would scream at me when I would put shoes on you, they were obviously too tight!
Your current favourite program is The Furchester Hotel, we do love Elmo!
You are very good at saying "Bye" to people and waving at them.
And also saying "gone" when something disappears!
You are giving kisses to teddies!
You've begun to be a very good girl at night night, and self soothe after a bottle and pretty much sleep through the night, yippee!
You're current favourite food is probably Mac and cheese and yogurt covered raisins!
You had your one year jabs and were so good.
You have started to walk, which is so exciting to see you toddle about. Trying to bribe you with biscuits to wonder over to us!
You love splashing about in the bath, which Daddy loves to do!
You can touch your nose when asked which is very clever.
You are good at nursery and you love to play with the other children.
You are able to open up the cereal cupboard and get out all the boxes, as well as pulling out all your plates!
You say "uh oh" when something silly happens.

You do so much that I can just sit and watch you play all day. 
I cannot wait to see what you do next!

Snot, Charity Shops & Work

The past few days seems to have just mushed into one looooong snot filled mess. First Zoe developed a cold, she really struggles to sleep well when she has one, so the first night was a nightmare with her being up most of the night and both me and James having work the next day (meaning lots of coffee was consumed). Then I caught the cold, which leads to me snoring and keeping James awake! And James was in bed last night sniffing Olbas oil so no doubt he'll come down with it too.
She's been such a grump too, which for her is so very unusual, she's normally never whinging or crying, unless she's had a bump or I've walked out of the room. So I really hope that she feels better soon so that I have my happy cheery baby back.
Just when she was doing well at sleeping through the night this happens. Can't win!

After my pointless dentist appointment this morning me, mum and a fast asleep Zoe wondered around the town. I'm always looking in the windows of Charity shops to see if there are any good baby books for Zoe as I find this is the perfect way to build up her library. 

However on this occasion I found the most perfect thing ever!

My bargain at £4.99!

A wooden walker with actual wooden blocks in it. Most walkers you get these days have plastic blocks in, or are more like her other one, which sings and flashes at you which she loves just as much, but just not as cute as this! And Zoe loves it already, putting other toys in it and pushing them around. My perception of charity shops was that you never really find good things in there, and it's mainly for older people. But actually, you can get some pretty decent stuff in there! 

Also these last few days I've felt really uncertain about work. Having been back about a month now I would've thought that I would have settled back in nicely. I still find it a struggle sometimes to remember to do the simplest of things, that I used to be really good at and organised with. And I am finding that I am also struggling with some of the people I work with. I find that as long as I'm open and honest with work that they do endeavour to do their best to help, but sometimes I do just want to go home and be with Zoe and James.

Instead of ending this post on that note, I thought I would share this picture with you. 
We'd just had a bath in the hopes that she would feel a bit better and we'd been in there so long that her feet gone all wrinkly. Thought it was sweet :)

To Vote Or Not To Vote, That Is The Question...

And the answer is YES!

I asked my partner James earlier whether he had voted before today, he said only once when he turned 18 and his reason being was just because he could. Which is great, you should vote because you can. And then I asked him what was different this year, why did he vote. He said it was because of Zoe, which is also the reason why I voted.

Today was the first time I voted, and over the last few weeks I have really felt like I wanted to, because we have a child and the plans and changes we make now are going to affect her whether it be in the short term or the long term. And also because being female, women died for my right to vote! That should be reason enough.  

Before Zoe my knowledge of the government and the politics world was quite small. I don't think it was ever properly explained to me, or perhaps I never really cared to listen when it was being explained. Perhaps I was too young to really understand, maybe this is why younger people don't really vote, because they aren't given the tools and the knowledge to understand. It is true that if more younger people vote the more than government will bring in policies that affect younger people! I had briefly studied Economics at University (but this was unfortunately the year I met James, so studying took a back seat). I understood tax, VAT and NI - only because it was what really directly affected me - other things I didn't really notice. 

Now though I find it more important to vote, being a parent and being a homeowner. Which is why I voted. I want my child to have the best health care that she can have, I want her to grow up in a country that will help her study and achieve her goals, aid her in getting a job that pays well.

Someone said to me that they weren't going to vote for a certain party because they didn't like the leader. To me that seemed a bit silly - because it's not that ONE person that is going to lead our country, there is still a team of others behind that person to stop them making mistakes, or help them make the right decision for our country. It is the policies that they endeavour to put in place that should be the reason that you vote.
I believe that you are entitled to your opinion when it comes to everything and anything. But when it comes to politics and the government, if you don't vote then you shouldn't really complain. It is something that you can have your say it, you can be the change, and your vote matters! If you have a problem with the way the country is run, then don't just whinge about it, vote! 

Thought that this was quite appropriate

NB. I would just like to add, that as a mother that breastfed (and in public!) for a member of government to want us mothers to "sit in the corner" and breastfeed in my eyes, is awful. We have every right to breastfeed our children wherever we are, breastfeeding is the most natural thing that a mother can do, and for some mothers to do it in public is the hardest thing to overcome, so for someone to come along and agree that it should be done under a napkin, or in a corner makes me very upset and angry! Women should be able to breastfeed whenever and wherever they want!

My Mum

It took a while for me and my mum to have the relationship that we have now. I was one of those horrible teenage girls. I fully admit to being an utter cow at times, I would come home at ungodly hours, demand money, stay in bed all day, bring home tonnes of friends at stupid hours. Backchat, scream and swear, tattoos, piercings, crashing cars, coming home drunk, getting stoned! You name it, I probably did it. 

I think that when I hit about 18 I realised that my mum wasn't the enemy, she's not out to ruin my life, and actually compared to most is a really cool mum. She helped my dad through his anxiety illness, and keeps him sane. She grew up with 3 brothers and raised 5 children, and helped with my dads 4 from a previous marriage. My mum is pretty amazing. 

Before I was even pregnant I knew I wanted my mum there at the birth, without a doubt. Having her there got me through it, as well as my partner obviously, but my mum was brilliant. She just knew what to do when James didn't. It was the first time she had been there for a birth, and she says that out of all of her Grandchildren (she has about 14) Zoe is the one she feels closest to, and she believes it was due to this - I reckon it's also because of the relationship that we have. I remember when Zoe had just been born looking up to find my mum, for her to be stood in the corner overcome with emotion, a truly special moment that I'm so glad to have shared with her. 

Mum stayed with us for a few days when we got to go home, and the appreciation for that I don't think I can ever repay. She knew what was needed, when to step back and when to speak up. My house was frigging spotless! 

So for that I just want to say thank you mum, because of you I am the person and mum that I am today.

 

Mum with Zoe aged 1 day

Sleeping Through The Night

"Does she sleep through the night?"  "Is she a good sleeper?" "Does she keep you up much?"
Are all questions I'm pretty sure I've come to despise hearing.


You are told that by the age of 8 months your baby should be able to sleep through the night (which actually they define sleeping through the night as a solid, undisturbed 8 hours). I say. Bollocks.

Zoe has never been a great sleeper at night, no idea why, it's just never happened for us. I think at first it was a case of "oh god, what am I doing wrong?" Trawling through google, and blogs to find the answer, not leaving the house so that nap routine isn't upset or thrown out of the window. Not letting James see to her in the night for fear of it ruining our chances even more. Doing everything the HV tells you to do, to the point where you think if you give her any more solid food she may actually burst, or just be sick everywhere.

Obviously it does get to a point where I'm frustrated when she doesn't want to be put back down and just wants to cuddle especially on nights where I have to get up for work in the morning, it's not one of those days where I can wear my pyjamas and not leave the house. I actually have to function outside the house, in the real world, with other adults. I think until she understands me, and I can tell her that it's bedtime and she must sleep I can cope with midnight cuddles. I remember James coming back to bed after he had started to get up in the night for her and telling me off for keeping those cuddles to myself. Now it's a case of who can get them first!

Then there are those nights, which must be pure fluke, when she does a solid 6-8 hours. (We rarely get more than 4) And I wake up feeling more tired than I usual am! I'm pretty sure that when she eventually does begin going solidly through the night that I'm going to have to train myself not to wake up and also sleep through the night again.



Eventually I accepted it, I just don't have one of those babies that wants to sleep all the way through. And it's fine, it just means that in the middle of the night when she wakes up, I get a cuddle. I get 10 more minutes with her, in that nice, warm, snuggly embrace where she buries her face into my neck and wraps her arms around me and falls back to sleep as I gently rock with her. 

The first time she napped in her cot, she looks tiny! September 2, 2014 (2 months old)

Creating The Balance

11 1/2 Weeks Old

I never really thought that I would ever be able to sit down for 10 minutes, have a cup of tea, a biscuit or check Facebook without feeling guilty. Whether it was guilt for not paying to attention to Zoe for a few minutes, or for not doing household chores like the laundry, the washing up or simply making the bed. I guess this is what they call Mummy guilt? 

Obviously in the beginning when she slept all the time it was super easy - well I say that, I found myself exhausted all the time, and the thought of having to get up and take washing upstairs was even more draining. 

Now Zoe is 10 months old, I find everything much easier. She happily amuses herself, playing with her toys. I can take her into the kitchen and leave her on the floor with a few kitchen things and do the washing up, make some lunch, without her screaming or crying at me for attention. I can hang the washing outside whilst she tries to catch the cat, or Zoe pulls it out of the basket onto the dirty floor. And then while she sleeps I get the time for myself, to watch the program that I missed the other day because she insisted on stealing the remote and pressing all the buttons. Or do the kitchen jobs quicker so that I can spend more time with her between nap times. 

Nap times = me time.

So now whilst she sleeps, I can have that 10 minutes. That cup of tea. My fix of the hot guy in my favourite TV program. Write this blog (which is a completely new thing to me!)

9 1/2 Months Old